Recently, I changed GP surgery to our new district. Having been with the same GP literally since birth it is easy to presume how nervous I am about this whole process and situation.

I have arranged my “initial consultation” for tomorrow  (Friday) and for the first time in years I arranged my own prescription. I had run out of Acrivastine, Esomeprazole and Tramadol. The lady who answered the phone asked me what they are for – I obliged and that was that. Of these medications, I take Tramadol as it is needed, sparingly and only when my pain levels are literally unbearable. The other two I take daily.

When I arrived to collect my prescription yesterday (Wednesday) only Acrivastine and Esomeprazole were listed. With a note to get a Dr’s appointment for medication review regarding Tramadol. Great. The receptionist said it was probably because I haven’t had it prescribed since July. Like I said – I’m sparing. When I enquired further about setting up an appointment was informed that there is a 2-week waiting list! Unless I showed up before the start of surgery and asked for an urgent appointment.

This is where my anxiety went through the roof. I have no Tramadol left – I rarely get a repeat prescription on it as I am careful and sparing, but at the moment I am in a lot of pain most days and I still have my locked jaw on top of that, I foresee it’s needed in the near future. I needed to choose:

Do I wait 2 weeks and weather the storm on the nights where I get so much pain in my spine that I feel like I’m on fire?

Or do I take an “urgent” appointment the next day? Is it really urgent when it’s a chronic condition? Will I be wasting their time? What if they say no? What then?

The decision was made that at 0730 this morning I would be perched on a chair outside the reception waiting to get an “urgent” appointment. The receptionist made a fuss about the whole thing:

“I don’t have many appointments”

“One of the doctors has been signed off sick”

“You’re a new patient – I don’t know if that will work”

Please – just give me an appointment. Eventually, she did. 1120 today.

My anxiety is through the roof just now. My heart feels like it’s bored and wants to come out to play and my brain is playing emotional wheel of fortune.